Above All Else
by Biib's
Summary: "Who the hell are you and what are you doing in my place?" "I'm sorry, I'm not doing anything, Im just drinking a bit. Calm down." "How am I supposed to calm down when a stranger is sitting on my terrace, doing God knows what?" "Technically, I'm not a stranger."
1. Chapter 1

**I'm back with a new fic!**

 **This is also AU, and the characters will be OOC.**

 **This is a dialogue-heavy fanfic, and might get a little boring because of that. If that's the case, please, let me know.**

 **The storyline is kind of weird, but it just wouldn't leave me alone, and I had to write it. Anyway, I hope you like it.**

 **It's unbetaed, so there will be a lot of mistakes. If there's anyone interested in betaing it or know of someone who might like that, please, let me know.**

 **And last, but not least, I don't own Glee, I'm just borrowing it.**

* * *

Noah Puckerman had made it. He was a succesfull screenwriter and had a big name already on Hollywood, even though he was under 30. He was one of the most sought after writers, specially after he won an award.

His family was basically his mother and his sister, who he loved to death. They were close, having gone through a lot together, since Puck's father left them when he and his sister were kids. They struggle for a while, but they managed without Jeff Puckerman, and now that Puck was this succesfull, the women in his life couldn't be more proud.

Speaking of the women in his life, of course, there was Lauren. Puck believed she was the best thing that came out of his father leaving. Noah was devastated when his childhood hero turned his back on him and went away (yes, he used to think of his father as a hero, but that soon changed), and as much as his mother wanted to be there for him, she was suffering as much as he was, and wasn't of any help. His sister was too young, and didn't understand what was going on. That's when he met Lauren.

Actually, he already knew who she was. Both of them had been studying in the same school all their lives, but ran with different crowds. He was part of the popular kids and she was one of the outcasts. They hadn't really talked to each other before until the day she caught him crying in the weight room. At first, he panicked. He had a reputation to uphold, and she could ruin it. But she promised she wouldn't tell anyone, as long as he agreed to seven minutes in heaven with her. Puck reluctantly accepted, feeling revolted that she would blackmail him like this but, after those seven minutes, he was totally hooked.

He fell in love with Lauren, who resisted him at first, saying no to going on dates with him and avoiding him, in general. But after much insistence on his part, they went out and, eventually, became a couple. It sounded like one of the romcoms that he was always writing.

Lauren was his rock. When he missed his father the most, she was there for him. She became his best friend and someone he could always turn to, and for that he was grateful.

But things weren't always perfect. They've been on and off since highschool. Every now and then, she'd get tired of him and break things off. All of those times, when they were apart, were the worse times of Puck's life. He felt like a part of him was missing, and it made sense. She's been with him through most of his life, she was a huge part of it. The last time Lauren broke up with him, Puck decided he didn't want to ever feel that terrible again. So he promised himself that, if she took him back, he wouldn't let her get away. She got back together with him after some begging on his part a few months ago, and he decided that today would be the big day: he was going to propose to Lauren, so they'd be together forever.

It's funny that, after everything he witnessed with his parents, he still believed in marriage. But maybe it was about Lauren, really. She just brought out the best in him, including the romantic he tried to hide from the world.

He had it all planned out: he would pick her up in half an hour and take her to that secluded corner of the school's parking lot, where they had their seven minutes in heaven all those years ago. Then, he would pop the question and, as soon as she said yes, he would show her the tickets he bought to Japan. Although the country didn't have much of a appeal to him, Lauren always dreamed of going there, and Puck thought they could go away to celebrate their engagement before they could tell anyone else and before things got hectic, with all the plans they'd have to make for the wedding.

Puck checked the time and realized he had to get going, if he wanted to get there in time. Lauren hated to wait, and getting to her work late would make her mad, he didn't want that.

He grabbed his car key and said goodbye to Finn and Sam, his best friends who happened to work with him. Both wished him luck, knowing he was going to propose. Puck smiled and thanked them, thinking that he really didn't need luck; he and Lauren loved each other, and that was enough.

* * *

When he got to the gym where Lauren worked, he smiled noticing he had made it in time. She wasn't outside waiting for him yet. He parked his car and, on cue, a bunch of kids started leaving the gym, probably Lauren's students.

Puck was really proud of her. She worked as a wrestling teacher, and he considered that a very noble job. She was a good influence on those kids lifes, and they were very lucky to have her.

He was pulled out of his thoughts by the noise of his car's door opening. Lauren got in.

"Puckerman."

"Hi, Babe. How was your day?"

"Ok. Where are you taking me? You know I don't like surprises." She said, noticing he was driving the other way they were supposed to go.

"Well, I have a feeling you'll like this one."

The drive was short, since the school was in the same neighbourhood as the gym. Puck parked his car and both of them got out, he motioning for her to follow him.

They got to the corner where they first kissed and Puck looked at her with a large smile on his face. Lauren, on the other hand, had a very confused look.

"Puckerman, why are we standing on the school's parking lot?"

His smile didn't faltered at her question. He knew Lauren didn't remember special dates or even birthdays, so it was too much to expect her to recall this spot. But he would ask anyway. It was part of the proposal.

"Do you remember what happened in this exact spot, 12 years ago?"

She shook her head negatively, causing him to chuckle.

"This is where we first kissed, and as I stood here watching you leave after those seven minutes, I knew I would never love anybody as much as I love you."

She had a soft smile on her face, but still looked confused.

"When we were apart, I swore to myself that, if I got you back, I'd never let you go again. You're it for me, Lauren, there isn't and hasn't ever been anyone else."

He got closer to her and got down on one knee. That's when she started panicking.

"Puck, please don't tell me you're doing what I think you're doing."

Now was his turn to look confused. She only called him Puck when they were having serious conversations.

"What do you mean, babe?"

"Don't do it, Puck. Get up."

"But Lauren, I want to spend the rest of my life with you. You are the love of my life. I never been more sure of anything else."

"I'm sorry, I can't say yes to that. Let's pretend this never happened."

"Why? Don't you love me too?" By now, the hurt on his voice was evidente.

"I'm sorry."

"Oh my God. You don't."

"I'm sorry, Puck."

"Is there someone else?"

"There's nothing good coming out of this conversation, Puck. Let's just move on and go our separate ways."

'No, I have a right to know. When did you fell out of love with me?".

"It's been a while."

"Then why did you got back together with me? I don't get it."

"You were begging. I felt sorry for you."

Lauren looked down, feeling sorry for what she said. She wasn't lying, it was true, she got back with him because she pitied Puck, but she knew that telling him that, specially the way she just did, would crush him. She knew him long enough to know that she had to break his heart. That's the only way he would understand, though she didn't want to hurt him. She respected him, and he had became one of her best friends.

She avoided looking at him, knowing that, by now, tears would be pooling his eyes. She took a deep breath before looking up and speaking again.

"I'm sorry, Puck. That's not how I wanted things to end, but it's for the best." Lauren looked at him and he had his head down. "I should go now. Good luck, Puck. I  
wish you all the best."

He kept his head down, holding in the tears as he heard her foot steps. He couldn't believe it. His life was over and there's nothing he could do.

Puck got back to the car and when he was safely inside, he let the tears fall. He was in for a long night.

* * *

After a couple of hours driving around and feeling sorry for himself, Puck finally got home. He felt like crap and needed a drink.

He got inside his penthouse and everywhere he looked, there was something reminding him of Lauren. The painting she liked was hung in the living room wall, he could see her favorite cookies on the kitchen counter, her toothbrush was in his bathroom...

Once again, tears pooled in his eyes. He couldn't believe. He lost his best friend and the love of his life in the same day. Puck felt completely lost.

He walked to the bar and poured himself some whiskey. It was the only think he could think of doing right now. The first sip burned his throat, but he finished the first glass in no time. Unfortunately, it wasn't enough to numb him, so he decided to fill the glass again.

Puck felt suffocated, with reminders of Lauren everywhere, and decided to go to the rooftop terrace. He could use the fresh air, and the view could help him distract for a bit.

As soon as he stepped out, he heard a scream, causing him to drop his glass, and noticed some movement in a dark corner, to his left.

"WHAT THE FUCK! WHO IS THERE?"


	2. Chapter 2

**Here's chapter 2.**

 **Thanks for all the revies, Guest, miss agron and TheDracarysLady.**

 **Guest, there might be smut, but Puck won't end up with Lauren. I hope that doesn't keep you from reading the story.**

* * *

There was no response to Puck's question, and he was alarmed. He could still hear whoever was there moving, and a noise of glass lightly hitting the floor. Was this person trying to break into his house? What was going on?

"Look, I got a gun here and I'm not afraid to shoot. Come out, where I can see you."

Of course he didn't have a gun with him, but he needed something to scare the person. Besides, from the position he was in, the person couldn't see him clearly either, so wouldn't be able to tell.

Suddenly, he heard a voice. A female voice:

"Please don't shoot. I'm sorry."

A woman who was apparently on her late twenties stepped forward, where he could see her. Her clothes looked like they've seen better days. She had on ragged jeans pants, a tank top, a bonnet and a thin coat. She was also holding a bottle of vodka, and her eyes were puffy and red, from crying, he assumed.

"Who the hell are you and what are you doing in my place?"

She looked scared, still afraid he could shoot her.

"I'm sorry, I'm not doing anything, Im just drinking a bit. Calm down."

"How am I supposed to calm down when a stranger is sitting on my terrace, doing God knows what?"

"Technically, I'm not a stranger. I used to live here."

"In the penthouse?"

"No, in the building. Second floor. I was the person that always forgot the clothes on the building's washing machine, remember?"

"I wouldn't know, I own a washing machine, so I don't have to use the laundry facilities."

The woman rolled her eyes. "Oh, yeah, you are the screenwriter. I mean, I should have realized you would own your own machine."

Puck was losing his patience. "Look, I'm having the worst day of my life. If you could just leave, you would help me a lot. I'm not comfortable with having a stranger in my house and I don't feel like calling the police, though that's exactly what I'll do if you don't leave right now."

The woman shook her head. "I told you I'm not a stranger. I'm Quinn Fabray, I lived across from the guy who owns 12 cats. You know who he is, don't you?"

Puck nodded, still not convinced. She could be lying, and just happened to know that there was a guy that owned 12 cats in the building.

The woman noticed he wasn't believing her, and kept going. "Come on, I've seen you around here! You and the scary lady you date. She used to give me dirty looks whenever we were in the mail room. And I've ran into your mother a couple of times too. I even helped her with some grocery bags once. I mean, I'm assuming it's your mother. Short dark hair, dimples... You and her have the same eyes." Quinn ranted, looking at his face.

She talked a lot, and was kind of distracting. He was listening to her. Her description of his mother was spot on. Maybe, she wasn't lying. He took in her blonde hair and hazel eyes. Maybe she looked familiar, it was possible that he ran into her a couple of times. But he was so into Lauren that he just didn't noticed other women, so he couldn't tell for sure.

"Ok, whatever, Quinn Fabray. It still doesn't explain why you are in my house. So, if you could just leave..."

"Well, I'm in here because I've got easy access. I'm still friends with Mr. Figgins, the doorman, and he always lets me in and..."

"I don't care. Just leave, or I'll call the police."

"But I can't leave you alone now. You just told me you're having the worst day of your life. Here, have some, you could use it." She said, offering him the bottle of vodka. "Specially since you dropped your glass." She looked at him expectantly, trying to give him the bottle.

Puck examined the bottle she was offering. It definately wasn't his, he would never buy this brand of vodka. She must've bought it before she got here, specially considering that there was only a quarter of the drink missing. But she'd had consumed enough to get her drunk.

"No thanks, I'll pass." Puck said, as he shook his head.

"Well, good, more for me, I guess. This bottle has to last until the end of the week." Quinn said, sitting on the floor. "So, what brings you here?"

"I live here?" Puck answered.

"I know, but you don't usually come outside. What happened to bring you here?"

"God, are you stalking me? How often do YOU come here? And what brings YOU here, to my place, person I don't really know?" He said, sarcastically.

"No, I'm not stalking you. But you do have na amazing view. See, you need to calm down, you're so stressed out. Sit here and have some." Quinn said, ordering him to sit next to her and offering him the bottle of vodka, once again.

This was the craziest day of his life. Puck couldn't wrap his head around what was happening to him, so he decided to just stop trying to make sense of everything. He sat next to this crazy woman that happened to be on his penthouse and grabbed the bottle, taking a long gulp. The vodka was warm, but didn't burn as much as the whisky. Eventually, it would numb him, and that was exactly what he needed. He took another sip before a weird thought downed on him:

"Are you homeless? How long have you been living on my terrace?" The desperation was evidente on his voice. This couldn't be happening.

"No, I'm not homeless, and I haven't been living here. I just come here when I need to think. This view helps me put things in perspective."

"Gee, glad I could help." Puck said again, sarcasm dripping from each word as he took another sip of the drink.

She smirked and ignored what he said last.

"So, back to the subject. Why are you having the worst day of your life?"

He took a deep breath before speaking.

"I asked her to marry me and we ended up breaking up."

"Who? Scary lady?". Was all the blonde said.

"Yes. She said she fell out of love with me."

"Ouch. I'm sorry."

Puck thought he was losing his mind. He was just opening up to a stranger, probably some homeless girl who's been living in his rooftop without his consent for an unknow period of time. Maybe it was just the vodka working it's magic.

"I can't believe I'm talking about this with a stranger."

"I'm not a stranger! We've established that."

"Please, we don't know each other."

"Yet, here we are, sharing a bottle of vodka and talking about your problems." She said, taking the bottle back from him so she could take a sip.

Puck just shrugged his shoulders. She had a point.

"You know, sometimes is better to talk to someone you don't really know. It's easier, and it could give a whole different perspective on the subject." Quinn said, before giving the bottle back to him.

Puck nodded. He was at the point that he just needed to talk about it, and he doubted that Finn or Sam would enjoy listening to him whine about his failed relationship. Besides, it wouldn't make him look good. So, what had he to lose, really?

"It's simple, really. We've been together, on and off, for the last 12 years. Now, all of sudden, she decided she doesn't love me anymore and said no to my proposal."

"That sucks. But, you know, life has a funny way of sneaking up on you, but also has a funny way of helping you out."

He furrowed his eyebrows. "Isn't that an Alanis Morissette song?"

The blonde chuckled. "Well, I tried. But truth is, I'm terrible with advices. I'm screwed right now because I followed my own advice, so, you shouldn't listen to me."

He had a small smile on his face.

She took it as a sign to continue. "But, if you wanna hear what I think anyway, here it is: you've been dating her since high school, right? You don't know what's like to be single, to be free. So, try it for a while. Get out there, go out with your friends, you'll have more free time to enjoy now, get a hobby! And I mean, a real one, because I know that you haven't touched that chessboard on your living room for months. And movies don't count as a hobby. That's what you do for a living, so you can't do that for fun."

Puck looked at her, his mouth lightly hung open with shock. She wasn't intimidated by it.

"Maybe you should draw more. I know you're good at it, I've seen some of your doodles, they looked pretty good. Or coloring! I heard that many grown ups are doing it now, they say it helps you relax? I don't know, just do the things you always wanted, but never got the time or the support to do it."

This girl could talk. He didn't know if she was usually like this or if it was an effect of the alcohol. Anyway, there's one thing that caught his attention.

"How do you know I haven't played chess? Months? For how long have you been coming here?"

She laughed at his question. "Wow, that was all you got from the little speech I just gave you? You've got bigger issues than getting dumped by scary lady."

"Yes, I do. One of them being that some crazy blonde chick's been coming to my place for, apparently, more than a few months, without me knowing it."

Quinn took a deep breath and shook her head. "I feel like we're running in circles now. Will you just let these small details go and let me help you?"

"Help me? You didn't know I needed help when you came here today. What are you even doing here to begin with?"

She looked down before getting up. "Ok, I'm gonna go now. See you around." She shouted, before making her way inside his house.

He got up and went after her, not only because he didn't trust a stranger inside his house, but also because she left something behind. When he caught up with her, she was already at the door.

"Hey, Quinn, you forgot the vodka."

"Don't worry about it, I'll be back sometime this week to claim my bottle". She gave him a little wink before closing the door behind her.

Puck let his head fall and hit the door. This all was surreal. He decided to go to sleep before anything even crazier could happen. Maybe he would wake up the next day and realize that it was all a bad dream. He went to bed hoping for that. 

* * *

**Thanks for reading! Let me know what you think.**


	3. Chapter 3

**Here's chapter 3. I'm still posting, even though people don't seem to be very interested in this story (at least comparing to my other fic, Hate's just a 4 letter word). If that's the case, I will delete this story (though I'll probably write it anyway, just not post it). It's not like I'm mad or anything, I just want to know if anyone's reading this because, otherwise, there's no point in posting it here.**

 **Would you please let me know? Thanks!**

* * *

The next day, Puck woke up with a raging headache. He blamed the bad vodka Quinn gave him. Which reminded him, it wasn't a bad dream, Lauren really broke up with him for good and he really found a stranger on his terrace.

He rolled over on his bed and grabbed his cell phone. Crap, 10 a.m.! He was very late. He changed his clothes and headed to work.

When he got there, he was greeted by Sam and Finn telling him they were planning on going to Vegas for his bachelor party. He just smiled, not being able to talk about what happened yet. He spent the rest of his day quiet, his head busy thinking about the events of the previous day. Honestly, he did not thought about Lauren again, but rather focused on the fact that a stranger was at his house. He made a mental note to check if everything was in place on his penthouse. She could've taken something from his home.

Time to leave finally came, and, by now, he was actually thankful for Quinn. Because of that crazy chick, he hasn't thought about Lauren for most of the day.

He drove home and the first thing he did when he got to his building was look for Figgins. The doorman would have some info on Quinn. It wasn't hard to find him.

"Hi, Mr. Figgings. How are you?"

"Mr. Puckerman. I'm fine, how about yourself?"

"I'm doing ok, I was wondering if you could help me with something."

"Sure, what is it?"

"Do you know Quinn Fabray? Blonde, used to live here?"

"Of course! She's around here all the time. The girl always forgot an underwear on the washing machine..."

"Yes, that's the one!"

"She's a very nice girl, but hasn't had the best of luck in life..."

"Yeah? What happened?"

"I'm not sure. I just remember her crying a lot in the past couple of months before she moved out."

"Do you know why she moved out?"

"No, not really. But I wish she was still living here. She always brought me cupcakes when she baked them."

"Ok... So, she's not crazy, right?"

Figgins let out a loud laugh. "I don't think so, sr. No need to worry. Why the sudden interest?"

"No reason, I just ran into her the other day." He didn't feel like telling his doorman the real story.

"Well, she's a pretty lady, Mr. Puckerman. Might be good for you to get to know her better."

"That's not happening, Mr. Figgings. But thanks, anyway, for answering my questions."

"No problem, Mr. Puckerman."

Puck took the elevator and as soon as he got home, he checked to see if there was anything missing. Things seemed to be in place, it looked like Quinn hadn't touched a thing. He let out a breath of relief and went to check his answering machine.

There were two messages there, but both from his mother. He was so disappointed he didn't even bothered listening to what she had to say. Puck was hoping for a call from Lauren and collapsed on his couch when he realised she hadn't tried to contact him.

Taking a deep breath, he decided to have a drink, to help him relax. He filled a glass with scotch and decided to go to the rooftop terrace. The girl from the night before was right, he hasn't been there for a long time before last night, and he should enjoy it more. The view was truly amazing.

He stepped outside and closed his eyes, feeling the breeze hitting his skin.

"Hi"

The voice caused him to open his eyes.

"Why are you here again, Quinn?"

"Same reason as yesterday", said the blonde, smiling.

"I'm not in the mood for company."

"Still bumped because Scary Lady dumped you?"

"Nice, Quinn, thanks."

"She did, didn't she?"

"Yes, but I don't want to talk about it."

"Ok. How was work?"

"It was ok. The guys suggested going to Vegas for my bachelor party."

"Vegas? Cool, can I come too?"

"You're aware that I'm not getting married, right?"

"You probably will, someday." Said the blonde, staring into space.

"But not right now. I just couldn't tell them that Lauren said no to my proposal."

"Well, you don't have to tell them yet, I mean, you could stall for a while. People break up all the time, you guys could split a week before the wedding."

"I can't lie to them. Besides, they could run into Lauren and hear it from her, what would be worse."

"Then you already know what to do. Tell them tomorrow, the sooner the better."

Puck just nodded, taking the bottle of vodka Quinn was drinking from.

"You know, this vodka sucks."

"It's all I can afford."

He chose not to say anything and was quiet for a little bit, before speaking again:

"Why did you move out of here?"

Quinn looked at him with a sad smile on her face. "I couldn't afford it anymore."

Puck nodded, but decided not to press the subject. The blonde didn't seem to want to talk about her situation and he didn't want to make her feel uncomfortable. Although uninvited, she was still a guest.

He was right about his assumption, considering that Quinn immediately changed the subject:

"You should just tell them, like taking a band aid off."

Puck turned to her with a confused look on his face and she explained. "When you tell your friends tomorrow. Just do it, you know? Without even thinking about it."

He nodded, as he gave the bottle of vodka back to her. "Yeah, I will. The problem is not to tell them. It's that I don't want them to feel bad for me."

"I get it." She said, before taking a gulp of her drink.

A comfortable silence fell upon them as the blonde girl looked up at the sky. Puck mimicked her position and, after being silent for a few minutes, Quinn finally spoke:

"What do you think happens after death?"

Puck was surprised, that question came out of nowhere. "Hmmm... I don't know, never thought about it. What do you think?"

She shrugged her shoulders. "I used to think that there was nothing, you just stopped being. But now I'm not so sure."

The blonde kept looking at the sky, but he could see that her eyes were heavy with unshed tears. The two remained silent, and he could hear Quinn's sniffles,  
although she wasn't crying. Not yet, anyway.

She took a long gulp of her vodka before standing up and looking at him.

"Ok, I'm out of here." She left the bottle in the corner. "Bye, Puck."

 __

 _That was random..._ Puck thought, still trying to wrap his head around what happened in the last few minutes. He didn't even bother going after her this time, she knew her way out. 


	4. Chapter 4

**Thank you miss agron, rkm and the guests who reviewed. You made my day and I was really happy to know that you're reading and enjoying this story. I'll definitely keep posting, as long as there's people reading it. And Guest, don't be shy! Hearing the readers opinions and thoughts about your work it's the best part of writing. Thank you again!**

* * *

Puck had just told Finn and Sam that Lauren said no to his proposal, and was standing in his office, waiting to see how his friends would react.

"Dude, I'm sorry." said the taller guy.

"Yeah, we had no idea... Are you ok?" Asked the blonde.

"Yes, I'm fine. No big deal, I'm getting over it." Puck said, trying to sound convincing.

Both of his friends nodded. "Cool, man."

"We could still go to Vegas, though." He said, smiling and remembering Quinn suggesting it the night before.

"Sure, man, we can do that." Sam replyed, with simpathy.

Puck lied. He wasn't fine and he wasn't getting over it. Truth is, if Lauren called right now, he would go running back to her, despite everything she told him. Right now or any time in the future. He couldn't remember of a moment in his life when he wasn't in love with her, and he doesn't think it's going to happen anytime in the future.

* * *

Puck left work earlier. He felt terrible, the last conversation he had with Lauren kept repeating itself in his head. When he got home, he knew immediately that he nedded a distraction.

He went to the terrace, knowing she would be there. He was right. Clutching a bottle of vodka, the blonde that seemed to have a soothing effect on him sat on the floor, staring at space.

"You're here already? What time did you get here? Don't you have a job?"

"I do work, if that's what you're asking."

"Yeah? What do you do?"

"Seriously?"

"Yes. You spend more time in my place than I do, and I know nothing about you other than you used to live in the building and forgot your underwear on the washing machine. And that you really like vodka."

She smiled and took a sip of the vodka before speaking. "Well, I do somethings, here and there. I babysit sometimes, clean some houses every now and then, sometimes I walk some dogs in the neighbourhood..."

Puck nodded and, after a pause, Quinn spoke again.

"Speaking of which, you could hire me to clean your house. I've been to your kitchen and it's all a mess. Seriously, you own a dish washer. All you had to do is put everything there and press a button."

Puck just smiled. He was starting to get used to Quinn invading his space.

"By the way", the blonde continued, "your mother called today. Apparently, she'll go to the Grand Canyon this weekend and wanted to check if you'd like to go. She misses you."

"Yeah, I'll call her back. Did anyone else called?"

Quinn looked down before answering. "I'm sorry, Puck, Lauren didn't call."

He nodded, with a sad smile on his face. "You know, I told Sam and Finn today, but that's it. Other than them, nobody knows about it. My mom thinks I'm still with Lauren."

She just nodded letting him continue.

"The worst part is that, eventually, I'll meet her again. We've got the same friends, we go to the same places... I won't be able to avoid her forever."

"No, you won't."

"And I wish I didn't care. But the worst part is, when I see her, I'll break down. I just can't act indiferent."

"Pretend not to care. There's this Stanislavski dude, who said that there's a thing called scenic truth, that an actor could achieve on stage. He has to convince the audience that what's going on on the stage is real, so he has to really believe it. I think you could benefit from this method in this case-"

She was cut off by Puck. "How do you know about that?"

"What do you mean?"

"About Stanislavski's methods and theories?"

"Oh, I majored in drama when I went to college."

"You went to college? Where?"

"Yale." Quinn answered, as if that wasn't a big deal.

"Quinn, you have a Yale degree and is asking me to hire you as my maid? Not that's anything wrong with that, but why don't you put to practice what you learned in college?"

"That's a long story, let's save it for another day. Today, we're foccusing on your problems. How did Finn and Sam reacted when you told them?" She asked, handing him the bottle.

"They felt sorry for me, like I thought they would."

"I see... Maybe, you should go to the Grand Canyon with your mother. You could use a distraction."

Puck scoffed. "I don't think my mother is the best company in that case."

"Ok, then do it alone. Or I could go with you. People say it's a life changing experience, it could help."

"I can't just take time off work like that."

"Do it on a weekend!"

He shook his head. "Quinn, we're in L.A., it's like , 10 hours away!"

"You've got money, you can just fly there."

Puck ran out of excuses. "Now it's just not the time, ok?"

"Ok, ok." she nodded and then spaced out. He noticed the blonde did this sometimes, out of the blue.

He took the time to study her. Her big hazel eyes were warm but, at the same time, seemed empty, like they lost their spark. She looked tired and seemed to be carrying the weight of the world on her shoulders. That wasn't the first time he saw somebody like that. He remember seeing those same signs a long time ago, on his mother's face, right after his father left them.

Puck tried to get her out of her trance, and called her. She didn't hear him and he called her again, this time, also nudging her.

When she turned to him, the man had a worried look on him. "Quinn, what happened to you?"

She looked down and then lifted her head again, wearing a smile that didn't reach her eyes.

"I could use a life changing experience."

Puck nodded, and thought for a bit before agreeing with her. "At this point, I could use one too."

Quinn took a sip of her vodka before speaking again. "Ok, I have an idea. Let's make a list of five things we consider life changing experiences. Like a bucket list. What do you say?"

"Ok, let's do it."

"So, I'll make my list and you do your list. Then, we choose five things out of those ten and we both gotta do it together."

He smiled at the blonde. "Sounds fun. I'll get pen and paper."

Puck went inside and was back within a few minutes. He handed Quinn a pen and paper and the duo focused on the task at hand. Both of them took their time, really thinking about what they considered a life changing experience. Almost 30 minutes later, Puck spoke:

"Ok, I'm done."

Quinn nodded. "I just finished mine. You go first."

He nodded and started speaking.

"Ok, the first experience on my list is to bungee jumping. I heard it's amazing." He looked at Quinn as he spoke, trying to notice how she reacted. "Second is to get married. I still hope it's to Lauren, and you'll be invited to the wedding, so it's something we'll kind of experience together." The blonde chose not to say anything and motioned for him to keep talking. "Third, go swimming with the crocodiles, in Australia."

At that, Quinn gasped: "God, is that a thing?"

He nodded, enthusiastically. "Yes, but you don't really swim with them, it's more like a dive. You get inside a cage and then you're lowered into a pen with the crocodiles."

"That sounds terrifying!" said the blonde, imagining what it would be like.

Puck kept going. "Number four is to do volunteer work and last but not least, number five, to have a son or daughter."

When he spoke the last item on his list, he noticed her smile faltering but, before he could comment on it, Quinn cleared her throat and spoke:

"Ok, number one in my list is to change somebody else's life for the better. I think that can be achieved with volunteer work, so we already have number one on our final list. The second thing is to go to a foreign country. I've never traveled abroad, so it means a lot to me. Number three is to have mind blowing sex."

Puck had a shocked looked on his face when he heard her say it. "Are you a virgin, Quinn?"

"No, no", the blonde said, shooking her head. "I've had sex. Many times, actually. I had good sex, ok sex, bad sex, but never mind blowing sex. I think it must be a life changing experience, learning how sex should feel like, you know?"

He nodded, understanding what she meant. The blonde smiled at him and went on:

"The fourth experience in my list is to be a part of a Feature film and, last, discover the cure for cancer."

Puck didn't know how to react to the last item on her list. "Wow, Quinn, that's... hard to do. I mean, we're not scientists or anything like that..."

She didn't let him finish. "So, the first item on our list is to do volunteer work/change someone's life, right?"

He just nodded as she continued. "I want to go abroad and you want to swim with the crocodiles in Australia, so that's our number two. But I can't afford that, so that would have to wait."

Puck recovered from his shock and spoke next. "Ok, we'll find a way to do it. Number three could be to be a in a Feature film. That's easy to do, I've got contacts. They always need extras."

Quinn smiled at that. It would mean the world to her. To be in a film was her dream since she was a little girl, and the reason why she studied drama in college. Doing that would mean she wasn't a complete failure. "I'd like that."

"Number four should be the mind blowing sex." Puck said, raising his eyebrows. "I think I had mind blowing sex, but I'm alway willing to have some more. But, the part of experiencing it together..."

The blonde giggled before shaking her head and spoke again. "No, I didn't mean that we would have it with each other! Just that we both experience it."

Then, it downed on her that they only had one more thing left on their list. She immediately turned serious, and waited for him to speak again. She didn't have to wait much:

"So, the last item. You know, to try to discover the cure for cancer is very noble, and it would definately change the world. However, we don't have the knowledge to do that or the money to hire someone to do it for us. Besides, having a kid... everybody says is the best thing they ever did in their life. I want to experience that too."

Quinn had tears trailing down her face. She nodded, took a long gulp of the vodka before putting the bottle down and standing up. "It's late, is time for me to go.", she said, walking away from him.

"Quinn, wait! Talk to me, what's wrong? Our list is not done."

She turned around wearing a sad smile. "Yes, go with the kid thing on the list. It truly is a life changing experience." She left right after she finished the sentence.

Puck sat on the floor, shocked, before writing down number five on their list. He folded the paper neatly and put it in his wallet. He really had to know what was up with Quinn.


	5. Chapter 5

**Thanks for reading, people!**

 **A special thanks to BMontague and the Guest with the nice review and to everyone who's following and favorited this fic.**

 **The guest asked me if it was right to assume that Beth exists in this universe and the answer is yes, she does.**

 **As for the other Guest that left a review, I'm sorry you feel this way about the story. I've been trying to do my best and, if it's not working for you, maybe you should just stop reading it. But if you have any suggestions or tips to what I could do to improve, then I'd love to hear it.**

* * *

Puck sat at his desk trying to work, but all he could think about was his and Quinn's list. He took it off of his wallet and stared at it.

1 – Do volunteer work/change somebody elses' life for the better;

 _2 – Swim with the crocodiles in Australia;_

 _3 – To be in a Feature film_

 _4- To have mind blowing sex_

 _5 – Have a kid._

They didn't need to do it exactly in that order, right? But that was a good way to work on the list, it seemed that the simpler tasks were first and the most complex came last. Having a child was something big and there's no way it could be done right now. So, volunteer work would be first. He started searching online for what kind of work he and Quinn could do when he was interrupted by Sam, who cleared his throat.

"Puckerman, we sold the script of Now and Forever."

"Huh? What?"

"Congratulations, dude! We sold your script!"

Puck was the creative mind there. Finn and Sam helped, but he was the creative one, the one who actually wrote everything while the two other guys were in charge of selling his work. That's how their agency worked.

"Wow, really?" Puck was happy. Of course he was ecstatic, everytime one of his scripts were sold, he could feel pride swelling inside. But he had mixed feelings about this particular script. It was basically about him and Lauren, and it would be a constant reminder of what he didn't have anymore. The movie was a drama, a story about a boy who was abandoned by the people he loved the most and drowned in sorrow, until the right person came along. It was a sad movie, but with a happy ending, the happy ending he hoped to get in his life.

"Yes! We have to celebrate!" Sam said, with a huge smile on his face.

Puck was always happy to bring money in for their company, but he didn't feel like going out with Sam and Finn. He just wanted to go home and talk to Quinn, tell her the news. But he shouldn't feel like this, those guys were his best friends and he should want to spend more time with them instead of talking to someone he knew for less than a week.

"I don't know, dude, I'm kind of tired. I think I'll just go home and start to work on a new script."

"No, Puck! We should celebrate. It's been forever since we've been out for we're tired of seeing you depressed over Lauren. She's a great girl, but you're our best friend."

He nodded, agreeing to Sam's proposal. He could use some time with the guys.

* * *

The three friends sat on a table at the bar nursing their beers and chatting about the script they sold. They were trying to keep things light, avoid any topic that could bring Puck down, since Sam and Finn knew he wasn't over his break up with Lauren yet. Knowing him, they thought it would take forever for him to fall for someone else.

Finn tried to point out some girls in the bar that he thought that Puck might be attracted to, but the screenwriter just checked them out to humor his friend. What both boys noticed was that the blonde guy's mind seemed to be someplace else. He was fidgeting with his hands and looked anxious.

"Ok, Sam, what's up?" Asked Puck, crossing his arms.

"And we know something's up, since you haven't really talked to us since we got here." Finn said, trying to force something out of him.

The blonde looked down and tryed to hold in a smile, but failed miserably. He looked back at his friends, who were staring at him, waiting for an answer.

"Ok, I didn't want to say anything, and I know it's not the best time to tell you guys but...I'll propose to Mercedes this weekend!" He looked at his friends waiting for a reaction, and Puck was the first to speak.

"Congratulations, Sam. She'll say yes."

Finn also congratulated him, but Sam instantly felt bad. He shouldn't have mentioned it, he just couldn't keep the secret. It hasn't even been a week since Lauren turned Puck down. He decided to change the subject, to clear the air.

"So, Puck, any ideas for a new script? The one we sold was great, we got to keep it up."

The guy forced a smile. "Not yet, but I'll figure something out soon."

An akward silence fell upon them, and Puck took it as his cue. He faked a yawn before speaking.

"I'm beat. I should go home and rest. I'll see you tomorrow." He paid for his drinks and left.

Truth was, he didn't know how to feel about Sam's news. Of course, he was happy for his friend, but it just reminded him of his failed relationship and love life. He didn't feel like confessing that to Sam and Finn, he felt like a girl just for thinking about it. So he decided to rush home and see if Quinn was still there. Sometimes, she knew exactly what to say.

* * *

When he got home, he rushed to the terrace, but all he found there was an empty bottle of vodka. He was too late, the talk would have to wait. Maybe, if he slept on it, he would feel better in the morning and wouldn't even have to discuss it with her.

Puck tried to work, but counted the hours until he left. He didn't see Quinn on Wednesday, since he went to the bar with the boys and she hadn't showed up on Thursday. He hoped she was there when he got home today. It's been two days since Sam told the news and he still felt weird about it.

As soon as he closed the door of his apartment behind him, he went straight to the terrace again, and there she was. A smile appeared on his face as he teased her.

"No vodka today?"

Quinn jumped a little bit as soon as she heard his voice. Puck definitely surprised her, even though he lived there.

"No hello? Well, I told you that that bottle would have to suffice for the whole week. Unfortunately, that didn't happen."

"It's probably a good thing. We don't need an alcohol addiction to add to our problems."

She shrugged her shoulders. "You might be right about that."

"You weren't here yesterday."

"I was busy. I actually have a life, you know?" The blonde said, teasingly.

"Really? You have a life outside my terrace? Can't say I'm not surprised." He responded, sarcastically.

Quinn glared at him and cleared her throat. "So, anything exciting happened on the last couple of days? Did Lauren call?"

He shook his head. "No, she didn't." He answered, dejected. "But we sold one of my scripts."

"Congratulations! What is it about? You don't sound too excited..."

"Well, the script is basically about Lauren, so it brings back a lot of memories. But, anyway, we went to celebrate on Wednesday, me, Sam and Finn, that work with me. That's when Sam chose to tell us that he's proposing to his girlfriend. Knowing her, she'll say yes."

"Ouch."

"I'm happy for him."

"Except you're not. He knew about what happened to you, he could've waited a little longer to tell you. It was insensitive of him."

"Guys don't care about that." He couldn't help but to keep lying about this. It was hard to admit that he was upset over this, made him feel like a chick. Only girls got  
hurt over stuff like this, and he wasn't one.

"Ok, whatever you say. But you're clearly bothered by it, as you are about the break up. Maybe you should write about it, it helps coming to terms with things. At least it works for some people."

"Like a diary?" He asked, his tone incredulous. "I don't do diaries, only little girls do."

"Not necessarily a diary."

He looked at her dumbfounded, before nodding.

They spent a good portion of the night talking about Puck's relationship with Lauren. At one point, Puck just stared at her.

"What?" She asked, clearly uncomfortable with his stare.

"I'm telling you everything about me, I've been all we talked about this week, and I still know nothing about you. Where do you live, Quinn? Do you live alone? Are you single?"

"Today is not a good day to talk about me. That requires vodka."

"Why?"

She looked the other way before turning to face him again, with a forced smile.

"I should go, it's getting late."

He'd have to find a different approach.


	6. Chapter 6

**So, here it is, chapter 6. I apologize for the delay in posting it, but it was really hard to write it, since you'll start to learn about Quinn's past. I'm not happy with the result, I'm not sure if it worked.**

 **Anyways, thank you so much for all the support. I appreciate the reviews and the follows! Thank you so much, BMontague, missagron and guests, it means a lot to me that you took your time to comment!**

 **And I should warn that this chapter is kind of dark, so trigger warning!**

* * *

Puck spent the whole weekend locked up at home. Quinn didn't show up and he used his time alone to mourn his and Lauren's relationship.

On Monday, when he got to work, Sam was telling Finn how he had to spend the weekend hearing about Mercedes' plans for the wedding. Of course she said yes, and was really excited about the whole thing, having already chosen a date for the ceremony. The engagement would be short, less than six months, they wanted to get married as soon as possible.

When he noticed Puck's presence, Sam told him about the engagement party, that would take place a month from now. He just nodded and said he would be there but then, as soon as he sat in front of his lap top, he started to think about what that meant. Mercedes and Lauren were really close, and there's no way his ex wouldn't be at this party. A month was a really short time, he wasn't ready to see her yet. He would be, until the wedding, but not four weeks from now.

"Sam, I just remembered, I won't be able to make it to the engagement party. Sorry, dude."

His friend looked at him with a sad face. "Really? That's too bad. You have something else planned?"

When Puck failed to respond, he spoke again. "This isn't about Lauren, right?"

Puck shooked his head right away, denying it. That's when he spotted the list him and Quinn made. _Thank God!_

"No. Actually, I had a trip planned."

"Yeah? Where you're going?" Sam asked, interested in Puck's trip, since he hasn't heard about it beforehand.

"I'm going to Australia."

"By yourself?" Finn asked, also interested in Puck's plans.

"No, I'm actually going with a friend."

"You've got other friends beside us?" The taller man asked, in a teasing tone.

Puck chuckled, before speaking again. "I actually do. She's nice."

"She?" Now was Sam's turn to chuckle. "You don't have girls as friends, Puckerman."

"Of course I do."

"Ok, if you insist. Have fun in Australia."

Sam had a point. He didn't have girl friends. He just was never interested in being just friends with a girl and, since him and Lauren've been together, she prevented him from being around girls, except her friends, who he didn't get along with. Mercedes was an exception, but he couldn't say they were friends. She was just Sam's girlfriend (fiancee now).

But the only thing that mattered now was that he dodged the engagement party. Now he would have to look for good deals on flight tickets to Australia. Quinn would probably agree to go with him, right? It's not like she has a steady job or anything holding her back. At least, he thought so. He would just buy the tickets and hope that she was at his place today.

* * *

When Puck got to his penthouse terrace that night, nothing could prepare him for the sight before him:

Quinn stood on the terrace railinging, sobbing and looking down, holding another bottle of vodka.

He didn't know what to do. Was she really thinking about jumping? He was afraid to speak, it might startle her and she could lose balance and fall. He had to do something, but didn't know exactly how.

What could have led to this? He knew some crappy things happened to her, but he couldn't even begin to imagine what could have been. By now, he knew her way of dealing with problems was avoiding and trying to forget about them, but he had to help her. In a short span of time, Quinn became someone important to him, helping him to deal with his problems. The least he could do was return the favor.

The problem was, he had no idea how to deal with what was going on right at that moment. Was she really thinking about suicide? He remembered seeing his mother depressed when his father left, but Puck didn't think it ever got that bad. What could possibly have led Quinn to that railing?

Now she was sobbing harder, and Puck took a deep breath, trying to alert her of his presence without startling her. He noticed a slight quiver of her shoulder, and took it as a signal that she was aware he was there. He spoke as softly as he could.

"Quinn, please come down. I don't know if you were planning on jumping, but please, don't. Come here and talk to me. Maybe I can help you with whatever is going on."

"No one can help me, Puck." she replied, still with her back to him.

"Just talk to me, Quinn. Please!" he said, approaching the blonde. When he was close enough, he reached out his hand to her.

"Please, turn around and take my hand." The desperation was clear in his voice. He had to help her, but she wasn't responding to anything he said. Tears started pooling in his eyes.

"Please, Quinn. Don't do it. Look at me! Turn around."

When the blonde finally did, he could see that her eyes were puffy and red, from crying. Her eyes were hopeless and her mouth was slightly opened, like she wanted to say something, but nothing came out. She looked down again, wondering how the fall would be like. It might hurt, but the building was tall, so she would probably die if she jumped.

Puck sensed that she was convincing herself to jump, so he just took her by the waist and brought her into a hug. The gesture seemed to wake her, so she clinged into him and broke down crying.

He held her for about 40 minutes, until she didn't have the energy to cry anymore. They sat on the floor and Puck spoke.

"Why do you think you don't have anything to live for, Quinn?" he was visibly very shaken about the whole situation. This was the scariest situation he was ever in, and didn't want to go through it ever again.

The blonde shook her head. "I'm not ready to talk about it. It's too hard."

"Then let's start with the easy questions. Where do you live?"

The blonde took a deep breath before answering. "In a trailinger, at that trailinger park four blocks from here."

Although the circunstances sucked, he was happy to learn a little bit more about her. "Do you live alone?"

"Yes."

"Where's your family?"

"My parents live in Ohio and..." - she hesitate and took a deep breath before speaking again- "my daughter..." she tried to speak, but started crying again.

Puck was shocked. He had no idea she had a daughter. How old was the kid? Why didn't they lived together? Who was the father? Were they still together? When he was about to ask, she spoke, trying to get up:

"I can't do this, is too hard."

He held her in place. "No, Quinn, stay. Talk to me. It doesn't have to be about your daughter. Tell me about the father, is he around?"

She shook her head. "No. He was my agent. When I moved to L.A., after graduation, I met him. He believed in me, said I was beautiful, talented and that I could really be an actress. I ended up falling for him and eventually got pregnant."

"And then what?"

"Then he said I wasn't mom material, that I was just a spoiled girl who couldn't even have a decent job and wouldn't be able to provide for the baby." She started crying again. "He introduced me to this woman, Shelby, who couldn't have kids and wanted to adopt our baby. She even agreed to let me see her once a month."

Puck just motioned with his head for her to continue. He was finally learning about her, finally getting her to talk, and he didn't want to say the wrong thing and screw it up.

"I agreed to let Shelby raise Beth, Brody convinced me that it would be best for our daughter. But after she was born, Shelby took her and disappeared. I didn't know where she went with my baby, and that's when things really started to go south for me."

Quinn felt Puck holding her a little bit tighter, trying to comfort her.

"I couldn't do anything else with my life. I had a job, at a small coffee shop, but I got laid off, because I stopped going. And I couldn't afford to live in the building anymore, so I had to leave."

"I'm really sorry, Quinn."

She nodded, still sniffling.

"Then, a few months ago, the woman, Shelby, came looking for me. She said Beth had leukemia, and needed a bone marrow transplant. Brody wasn't a match, so they came looking for me."

Puck immediately remembered Quinn's list. One of her items was to discover the cure for cancer. Of course it was about her daughter. It made sense now. He felt like an ass because of the way he reacted then, but he wasn't wrong. They couldn't do it, unfortunately.

"That was the first time I came to your rooftop." The blonde said, forcing a small smile.

He smiled back. He wished he'd found her back then, maybe he'd be able to make her feel better, help her like she's been helping him. Puck recalled the day he first saw her there, so broken. He felt terrible right now, not only for the way he treated Quinn that night, but also about being devasted about something as small as his girlfriend saying no to his proposal. It seemed so shallow compared to what the blonde was going wanted to ask her what happened that day, and especially what happened today, but apparently, she was done sharing for now, since silence fell upon them. He wouldn't ask either, he knew it didn't work with her.

Taking a deep breath, Quinn stood up, saying that she had to go.

"There's no way I'm letting you go home right now, Quinn."

"I'm fine, I really have to go."

"I don't know what happened to make you consider taking your life, but you shouldn't be alone right now. Besides, it's late. Just stay here tonight. You can take my room and I'll sleep on the couch."

Quinn just nodded, not having the energy to speak any longer.

He took her to his room and helped her settle in, reminding her that, in case she needed anything, she should just call him.

Puck left the room and closed the door behind him. He grabbed a chair and sat outside the room, trying to hear any sound from inside. He felt responsible for her somehow, and wouldn't let anything happen to Quinn.

Suddenly, he heard her. The blonde cried herself to sleep that night, and Puck only allowed himself to lay down himself when he heard the light snores coming from his bedroom.


	7. Chapter 7

**First of all, I apologize for how long it took me to post this chapter. It was kind of hard to write, so it took me a while.**

 **Thank you, miss agron, Haylee, gez lutz merrygold and Guest, as well as everyone who's following and favoriting this story. Your reviews and support keep me motivated to write. And I hope you like this chapter. I'd love to hear what you think about it.**

* * *

The next day, Quinn woke up not knowing exactly where she was. After seconds, the events of the night before came to her and she allowed herself to cry again.

Puck stood outside the door, and knocked as soon as he heard her cry. He called Finn and said he wouldn't be going to work today, something came up and he was needed. He didn't know what was going on, but Quinn needed him now, and he would be there for her.

The blond heard the knock on the door, but didn't have the energy to say anything else in return. Puck noticed and decided to go in anyway.

The sight of Quinn crying, holding his pillow, broke his heart.

"Q, you got to eat something."

The blonde just shook her head, clutching to the pillow harder. Puck took a deep sigh, but didn't leave the room.

"It's almost 2 p.m. You must be starving."

Upon hearing this, she stood up and used her hands to wipe her tears.

"I have to go, there's somewhere I gotta be."

Quinn tried to leave the room, but Puck used his body to block the door.

"You're not leaving like this."

"I really need to be somewhere in 40 minutes."

"Where?" At this point, he didn't trust her to go anywhere by herself. She almost took her life the day before, he wouldn't just let her leave. He stared at her, waiting for an answer, but she just looked down, refusing to tell him.

Seeing that he wouldn't move, Quinn got closer to him. She looked up and he noticed that she was no longer crying, but her face was blotchy and red, and her eyes were puffy. Still, she was dead serious when she spoke again:

"Please, Puck. I really need to go."

He could hear the desperation in her voice.

"Ok. But I'm going with you."

She was about to protest, when he spoke again.

"This is not a request, Quinn."

The girl wanted to say no. She didn't want his or nobody else's company. She wanted to do this alone, but denying Puck now would only lead to an argument that she didn't have the time to get into.

* * *

The first stop was at Quinn's trailer. Puck drove them there and waited in the car while the girl showered and changed her clothes. He took his surroundings for a while, thinking what would be like to live where his friend lived. He was curious to know what the inside of her trailer would be like. It seemed so small and cramped on the outside!

He didn't have much time to dwell on those thoughts, as Quinn opened the door to his car and took the passenger seat again.

"Where to now?" Puck asked, still staring at the trailer.

The blond checked her watch before answering.

"We still got a few minutes to spare."

He nodded and turned the radio on, tapping his fingers on the steering wheel as he enjoyed the music playing.

Quinn, on the other hand, was focused on straightening her black dress, that had creases on the skirt. Neither of them spoke.

By the end of the second song, Puck was getting anxious.

"Can we go now?"

The blonde looked at him, but he couldn't tell what it meant, since sunglasses were shielding her eyes.

She nodded. "Turn left and go straight on to the second traffic light, where we'll turn right."

He raised his eyebrows as Quinn spoke. Was she really not telling him where they were going? What's up with that? Instead of questioning her, he simply complied to what she was saying. She seemed upset, so he would just follow her instructions.

* * *

About 20 minutes later, Quinn told Puck to park the car. He looked outside and didn't recognize the street they were on. However, there was nothing special about this place. There were a few residential buildings, a bakery and a movie theatre, and honestly, he didn't think Quinn needed to be in any of those places. He was about to ask her where she was going, when the blonde spoke.

"Wait here. I won't be long."

Before he could say anything in return, she was out of the car, walking to the crossroads ahead. Puck watched her turn left and followed her, staying far behind so she wouldn't notice.

He followed her for five more blocks and noticed her crossing the street. Puck was so focused on her that he didn't realized where he was. He recognized this street. _Fuck!_

He watched Quinn trying to hide, as she saw a large group of people making their way outside the place she wanted to get in. The blonde waited until those people were far away until she made her way inside.

 __

 _Fuck!_

* * *

Quinn waited until Shelby was gone. She really didn't want to face this woman today. She felt nothing but hate towards the woman for a long time, but with Beth's illness, she could see how much the older woman cared for and loved her daughter. Still, it didn't change the fact that the blonde despised her. She stole the most precious thing in the world from her.

Quinn went inside, but it took her a while to find what she was looking for. After walking around for around 15 minutes, she saw it. Her heart stopped in her chest and she fell to her knees at the sight in front of her.

 _In loving memory_

 _Beth Corcoran_

 _May 20, 2012 - January 30, 2015_

As she sat in front of her daughter's grave, Quinn couldn't stop the pain that overcame her. She had no idea someone could feel that kind of pain and hurt and still be alive, it had to kill. She'd felt pain before. When she was six, she fell and broke her ankle. When she told her parents she wanted to be an actor, her father told her he was ashamed of her and that she was a disgrace to her family. When her favorite grandmother died. However, nothing could have prepare her for what she was feeling right now.

Quinn had a plan. She knew what she would do with her life. She would find her daughter, get her back and focus on Beth's future. Her baby would have everything, she would do whatever she had to to make all of her daughter's dreams come true, and they would be so happy! Now, Beth wouldn't have a future. Or herself, if she's being honest. What's she supposed to do for the rest of her life?

What about her dreams? Everything she dreamed of was Beth. Watching her grow, seeing her graduate, have her first job, get married...

She was just a baby! Her little angel, her perfect thing.

She suffered before, not knowing where her baby was, if she was happy, if they were taking good care of her... But knowing could hurt so much more! Why was this happening to her? Did God hate her? Was this punishment? Did God even existed? Maybe this, what she was going through right now, was what hell was. Maybe God didn't existed, but hell did.

Quinn wiped the tears that cascaded down her face with her thumbs. She didn't even notice she was crying until this very moment. Now she understood all the cliches she ever heard in her life about losing someone. It really was like a part of her had died.

* * *

Back in the car, Puck sat, wondering what he could do to help Quinn. She would need support, and, apparently, she didn't have anyone else to be there for her, it would have to be him. He never had to handle a situation like this. The biggest problem he ever had to face before this was getting dumped by his girlfriend, so he was no expert.

The sight of Quinn walking to the car brought him back to the current situation. He had to act natural. She didn't know he followed her, so he would pretend he didn't know what happened. _Act natural, don't panick._

It was easier said than done. As soon as the blonde got inside the car, the atmosphere changed completely, turning heavy and dark. Puck looked at her and immediately felt like crying. She just sat there, motionless. Like she died, but was still breathing.

He waited for directions but, this time, she didn't say a thing. After waiting for a couple of minutes, he drove them home. Neither of them spoke a word until they reached their destination.

* * *

Quinn was back at Puck's bedroom, lying by herself in his bed.

She was numb and in pain, all at the same time. She wanted to sleep forever or maybe lose her memory, then she wouldn't feel like this anymore, wouldn't miss her so much. It was crazy, really, missing someone that she didn't see everyday, that technically wasn't a part of her life. Except that she was. Beth was such a huge part of her life. Everything she ever did was thinking about her daughter.

Quinn hated cancer. She never wanted this for Beth, but, in the end, it was what brought them together. She got to know her baby and to hold her because of it. Of course she knew she could lose her daughter, but she never really believed she would.

It felt like the world had stopped and she was stuck in place. The words "never again" were tough. She would never hold her daughter again. Never hear her voice or her giggles, never see her smile again. Honestly, she didn't see a point in living anymore. She had nothing and no one. Except Puck. She closed her eyes and waited until sleep overtook her. Quinn dreamed of what could have been if she had kept her daughter. In a different life, she would be the happiest person on earth. 


End file.
